Portland Teen Makes Water Artisanal

“Portland, Oregon is flushing 38 million gallons (143 million liters) of drinking water down the drain because a 19-year-old man urinated in an open reservoir early on Wednesday morning, city water officials said.”
 — There’s a much-repeated maxim in the blogging business that, “[W]hen you get to the point where all the ‘people in Portland urinating into reservoirs’ stories start to blend together, it is time to retire,” so while it has been a pleasure spending this time with you I must take my leave, because I have an appointment at the glue factory.