Internet's Accomplishments Enumerated

“We like to blame the internet because it lets us off the hook. But it’s a bit like an alcoholic making a bottle of whisky bear the responsibility for his having drunk it, or a drug addict blaming her dealer for selling her a fix of heroin. The web is undoubtedly — pardon the rehab speak — a great facilitator for those of us who have a tendency towards distraction, and it is to blame for myriad pains in the buttocks: ‘lolcats’, ‘selfies’, ‘vaguebooking’, endless bloody passwords, endless bloody pictures of people’s coffee, know-it-all commenters, the phrase ‘Is this really news?’ (as used by aforementioned know-it-all commenters), viruses, perverts, Viagra spam, porn for the perverts to watch with their Viagra spam.”
 — There was more but I felt like I had gotten all I needed at the end of this list.