NFL Haiku Picks, Week Ten
11/9 8:25 ET Seattle -6 At Arizona
Arizona is
Probably a wonderful
place but the Cards suck
PICK: SEAHAWKS
11/12 1:00 ET Minnesota -1 At Washington
Purple’s a color
We all should wear more and think
About Prince, who ruled
PICK: VIKINGS
11/12 1:00 ET At Chicago -5.5 Green Bay
The Packers couldn’t
Win a barfight against a
Bunch of monks right now
PICK: BEARS
11/12 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -10 At Indianapolis
Without Andrew Luck
The Colts are only the fifth
Worst thing in Indy
PICK: STEELERS
11/12 1:00 ET At Jacksonville -3.5 LA Chargers
The Jaguars are like
Football Menudo except
I like Menudo
PICK: CHARGERS
11/12 1:00 ET NY Jets -2.5 At Tampa Bay
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Ex-Jet Harvard Grad will send
His old team to Hell
PICK: BUCCANEERS
11/12 1:00 ET At Tennessee -4.5 Cincinnati
Autumn coils around
The feet, arms blazing outward
Don’t watch this game, man
PICK: TITANS
11/12 1:00 ET New Orleans -3 At Buffalo
I must still Bill-leave
The Saints have always let me
Down consistently
PICK: BILLS
11/12 1:00 ET At Detroit -12 Cleveland
Cleveland couldn’t win
A snowball fight against a
Pile of dead lemmings
PICK: LIONS
11/12 4:05 ET At LA Rams -12 Houston
You should go see Thor
Instead of watching this game
Because Thor’s funny
PICK: RAMS
11/12 4:25 ET At Atlanta -3 Dallas
Both of these teams are
Kind of a mess and not in
A fun kinda way
PICK: FALCONS
11/12 4:25 ET NY Giants -2.5 At San Francisco
Somehow both these teams
Will lose this game and a hole
In time will open
PICK: 49ers
11/12 8:30 ET New England -7.5 At Denver
The Patriots don’t
Ever win in Denver like
Never forever
PICK: BRONCOS
11/13 8:30 ET At Carolina -9 Miami
Dolphins’ games should be
Broadcast at Gitmo to freak
Mean terrorists out
PICK: PANTHERS
Jim Behrle lives in Jersey City, NJ. Don’t forget to turn your clocks back again this week because fuck this, man.