NFL Haiku Picks, Week Three

9/21 8:25 ET LA Rams -2.5 At San Francisco

Thursday Night Football!
Watch bad teams that suck! Or ‘T.
J. Hooker’ re-runs!

PICK: RAMS

 

9/24 9:30 ET Baltimore -4 At Jacksonville  (London)

This game is on at
9 A.M. Sunday morning.
But sleep late instead.

PICK: RAVENS

 

9/24 1:00 ET Cleveland -1 At Indianapolis

The Browns are favored!
This may be because the Colts’
QB is a squirrel.

PICK: BROWNS!

 

9/24 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -7.5 At Chicago

Bears fans may yearn for
The grim days of Jay Cutler
Sulking on sidelines

PICK: STEELERS

 

9/24 1:00 ET Miami -6 At NY Jets

QB Jay Cutler
Kind of sleepwalks through games with
The grace of a slug

PICK: DOLPHINS

 

9/24 1:00 ET Denver -3 At Buffalo

The Broncos looked good
Against the Cowboys but might
Fill up on hot wings

PICK: BRONCOS

 

9/24 1:00 ET At New England -13 Houston

The Patriots should dump
This game and donate game checks
To Harvey relief

PICK: TEXANS

 

9/24 1:00 ET At Carolina -6 New Orleans

Never figured out
Why that streetcar in the play
was named Desire

PICK: PANTHERS

 

9/24 1:00 ET At Minnesota Off Tampa Bay

I like the Vikings
But their mirrored stadium
Kills a ton of birds

PICK: BUCCANEERS

 

9/24 1:00 ET Atlanta -3 At Detroit

Lions will be down
Most of the game but win like
8 Mile B-Rabbit

PICK: LIONS

 

9/24 1:00 ET At Philadelphia -6 NY Giants

Giants O-Line is
Porous like a colander
Filled with sweet ziti

PICK: EAGLES

 

9/24 4:05 ET At Tennessee -2.5 Seattle

I also never
Figured out what that jar in
Tennessee stood for

PICK: SEAHAWKS

 

9/24 4:25 ET Kansas City -3 At LA Chargers

The Chargers play their
Home games inside the men’s room
Of a Carl’s Junior

PICK: CHIEFS

 

9/24 4:25 ET At Green Bay -9 Cincinnati

The Bengals have played
Drearily but the frozen
tundra’s not frozen

PICK: BENGALS

 

9/24 8:30 ET Oakland -3 At Washington

The Raiders are good
The Redskins’ name is racist
I really hate both

PICK: RAIDERS

 

9/25 8:30 ET Dallas -3 At Arizona

It’s a good thing I
Don’t actually bet on these
Games cuz I’d be broke

PICK: COWBOYS

 

The first two weeks Haiku Picks went 12-20. Sad!

 

Jim Behrle lives in Jersey City, NJ and works at a bookstore.