Flabaire, "Alpha 2"

Are you ready to rock?

Now that the rock era is over — by my lights, the last rock record that really made a difference was The Cribs’ Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever from 2007, which means we’ve had a decade to absorb the loss — maybe someone can investigate the most confounding question from that period, namely why did we put up with so many songs about being rock musicians? It is hard to think of anything less relatable — even novels that have novelists as their protagonists are easier to empathize with, since many of us live in Brooklyn, are Jewish, treat women badly, have an inflated sense of our own value or at least know someone with one or more of those characteristics — and yet some of the genre’s biggest hits are not only about being musicians but being extremely successful ones at that, and how incredibly burdensome it is to endure the lifestyle. Why on earth were we all like, “Yeah, I get it,” instead of. “Go fuck yourself, I have to ride a bus all the time too and it’s way worse”? I mean, I guess it’s not the most pressing concern we should worry over at present but if someone needs content — and given current trends every possible thing to write about will have both been written about and turned into fraudulent video by the end of the summer — it is a topic to explore. Anyway, here is some music that is in no way about being a rock star. Enjoy.