The Way We Eat Chocolate Now
It’s as annoying as everything else we do.
What’s happening in the fast-paced world of candy consumption?
In the past two years, Mr. Crean says consumers have asked more detailed questions about where Prestat’s cocoa beans originate and want to know the percentage of cocoa in its chocolate. “Young consumers are especially gravitating toward 70% and above,” he says.
One of Lindt’s fastest-selling chocolate bars contains 90% cocoa, says Ms. O’Neil, of Lindt USA. “As consumers try dark chocolate, they start to test themselves,” she says. “They might begin at a lower rate, but then go up to 70%, then 85%, and then a 90% chocolate bar.”
Offering portion control also helps chocolate eaters feel good, Ms. O’Neil says. Lindt’s Excellence bars, which are wrapped in foil and white cardboard, are designed for a “ritualistic” experience. “Consumers take care to rip the foil gently, then break a square off, then roll the foil back up,” she says. “It’s meant to withstand that type of consumption where you might eat one square or two squares a day.”
You know, it is exactly stuff like this that explains not only why Donald Trump won but why we shouldn’t be upset when his administration results in the end of our species. The sooner we shuffle our single-square chocolate-chewing asses off the stage the better it will be for the planet and whatever’s left on it. Remember a year ago when were so upset about those beardo Brooklyn brothers who got busted for their bean-to-bar bullshit? We should have known right then a real reckoning was coming for all of us. If I were you I wouldn’t bother limiting myself to a square a day anymore. Who knows how much longer you’re going to be around to enjoy it? (If “enjoy” is actually the right word for what you are doing when you eat something that is 90% cocoa.) Eat it all and let God sort it out.