Maybe Stop Using Your Cuisinart

You could be serving your family little bits of metal

So uh, there’s no easy way to say this in a non-alarming fashion but, Conair is recalling EIGHT MILLION FOOD PROCESSORS sold over a period of TWENTY YEARS because the blades are liable to break off into pieces in your food and cause mouth lacerations. The recall covers TWENTY-TWO different models of Cuisinarts, sold between 1996 and 2015. If the metal blade thingy that goes inside your food processor has rivets, you’re screwed. You can go here to see if your model is affected. Call Conair and they will send you a new blade.

Product Recall: Cuisinart food processors recalled by Conair due to laceration hazard

“Laceration Hazard” is a good name for a bad band. Anyway, maybe you are reading this thinking, who has a food processor, only people who live in the suburbs and have full-size kitchen cabinets? To which I would reply, yeah, and whose house do you think you’ll be going to for Christmas? Stay safe out there, and maybe skip the rum balls.