Street Fair Reform Will Bring The Change New York Needs

I mean, the other stuff is really hard to do, I guess.

So those of us who have feared that, instead of craftily allowing himself to appear as an amiable dunce in an attempt to do liberalism by stealth, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio actually is just a big fucking dummy who means well but couldn’t tie his shoes without asking for four different perspectives on whether you put the left lace over the right or the other way around and then just tying them however the real estate industry tells him to, have had very little in the last three years to assuage those concerns. But wait, what’s this?

Mayor Bill de Blasio’s administration is proposing changes to the city’s street fairs intended to end the corporate flavor of many of the festivals, addressing a long-standing complaint from civic groups and elected officials that the fairs are a costly headache and do little to benefit the communities where they’re held.

There’s more!

Under the proposed regulations, there would be geographic distribution of street fairs — no more than 200 street fairs could be held citywide each year, and no more than 100 of them could be located in Manhattan. Each community board would be limited to 20 street fairs annually.

Okay, so it is not the change that I voted for, or even thought about, back in 2013, but given what’s been on offer I will take what I can get. Also, you know how everyone keeps saying the city’s center of gravity has shifted to Brooklyn? Let’s shift all the street fairs there from now on too, so we can justly acknowledge the borough’s primacy. It only seems fair. Enjoy your mozzarepas, Park Slope!