Kondi Band, "Yeanoh (Powe'hande Binga'dbe)" (Cervo Edit)

Who would you row through shit for?

If you are someone who wakes up each morning and scans the news to see what has happened in the world since the last time you looked you are aware that there is nothing nice about it anymore. The simple act of opening your inbox is an experience akin to waiting for an injection: You know it’s going to sting, you’re just not sure how bad it will be. So let me tell you this: The best thing you will see this morning is a sentence like, “Lacking nipples, cockroaches cannot be milked in the county fair sense,” and even that leads to a less pleasant story than you would expect from such an admission.

The only other thing out there today that might not make you want to cry contains the line, “I will row through shit for you, America,” but sadly it is neither a metaphor nor an excerpt from Hillary Clinton’s acceptance speech.

It’s going to be that kind of day, clearly, and that is clearly the kind of day it’s going to be for a string of days that stretch endlessly out toward the horizon. This, though, is something that should bring you at least a tiny bit of enjoyment. I mean, I hope it does. At the very least no cockroaches were milked in the making of it. As far as I know.