How Your Porn Parodies Get Made: A Colloquy

Does data science have anything to do with it?

Sure, why the hell not.

[The news of a forthcoming pornographic adaptation of the most culturally significant work of art in our species’ history — “Hamiltoe will be revolutionary. It will be the first hip-hop porn musical spoofing a Broadway show, celebrating a historical figure. And it will have anal sex,” — raises many questions, some of which are discussed below. Note: This transcript has been condensed and edited for clarity.]

Silvia:The Inevitable Hamilton Porn Parody Is Coming

Balk: Now​ it’s over

Mike: Wait, they did one about “Adventure Time”? What the heck?

Balk: Somewhere there is a data scientist whose job it is to determine whether or not something has enough currency to make it viable financially or publicity-wise to do a porn parody of whatever is currently buzzy.

Adam: I think you’re giving the folks at Woodrocket too much credit there, Balk. I am fairly certain they do not employ any type of scientist, data or otherwise.

Balk: Adam, we know most technological innovation comes from porn, why wouldn’t data science follow those rules?

Adam: I’m just saying I don’t think it takes someone with a Ph.D. to say “Hamilton is popular.”

Balk: Sure, in your East Coast liberal bubble it seems obvious. But do the jack-offers of the American Midwest know enough about it to spend their hard-earned splooge budget on it? How much of that Southern jizz dollar is going to go toward Hamilton porn? Would the wankspankers of the Plains states prefer to toss their dollars this way or at something more accessible, like “Fuller House”? This is the kind of thing you need real metrics to decide.

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