If A Surprise Radiohead Album Drops In A Cleared Forest

Over the weekend the Internet started noticing that Radiohead was deleting its web presence. Its Twitter and Facebook pages went blank (which is to say all-white) and so did its website. All of Thom Yorke’s tweets disappeared. Concurrently, some fans received PAPER MAIL with cryptic references to “Burn The Witch,” and a few months ago, others noticed the creation of a new company, Dawn Chorus LLP. All signs point to: Radiohead is about to release a new album!!!1

Look, I’m sure this album will be great. Thom Yorke Jonny Greenwood is a musical genius, but a PR genius he is not. Getting taken by this act is like tickling yourself — if it works on you, you must possess some incredible strain of denial that should be bottled and sold in pill form as an anti-anxiety medication. Deleting yourself from the Internet is the oldest look-at-me trick in the book. Also this isn’t even really disappearing themselves completely, so PLEASE STOP MAKING THAT JOKE — the accounts are still there! All of my most self-conscious ex-boyfriends do this shit all the time, and it only has the effect of making me wonder about them more. Gravity works! Don’t act surprised.