A Supposedly Fun Fling

From a distance, it looks less like a haven of free-spiritedness than a catwalk of people who have decided that free-spiritedness looks good on them

You couldn’t pay me to go to most music festivals, not even to cover them with a gimlet eye for a word rate. (That said, if the Lilith Fair ever did reappear, I wouldn’t not go.) They are disgusting and muddy and full of unwashed humans on drugs with not enough porta potties (Ed note: what is our house style on this?) to prevent them from peeing all over the “fairgrounds” or whatever. The one and only time I went to The Governors Ball, everyone around me got way too stoned before an Animal Collective set and it was very hot and people started fainting and CONVULSING all around me; it was utterly terrifying.

Coachella is the Seinfeld of music festivals — it’s hard to say what it’s about, exactly. But Carrie Battan took a good run at it, highlighting in particular the womenswear aesthetic (jorts, flower crowns, fringe), which may be the strongest part of Coachella’s “brand,” if it can be said to have one. I’ll just watch you guys have fun from my side of the Instagram app.