Rex The Dog, "Musik Hypnotises"

Hahaha, just kidding, you’ll get plenty of that in every single public space — and plenty of the private ones — you pass through from here until Christmas finally comes. I was waiting on line in a deli yesterday and Frank Sinatra’s take on “Winter Wonderland” was playing and I suddenly remembered being in the exact same deli the year before right after Thanksgiving and hearing Christmas music and thinking to myself, “Ugh, this again.” And here it is, a full planetary rotation later, another fucking Christmas on its way and I’m still not dead. What are you going to do? A positive person, pressed with this question, would answer, “Embrace it,” but I’m not a saucer-eyed idiot. I’m going to go with the compromise position of “Suffer through it,” which is convenient in the sense that it is the way I deal with every other aspect of life already so it doesn’t require any additional effort on my part. Those of you with a more active spirit, however, are probably inclined to do everything in your power to reject the season, with its forced cheer and false happiness and empty sentiment, and for that I salute you. Here’s a song that is as un-Christmassy as they come. Enjoy! It doesn’t get any easier from here on out.