Nice Man Chastises Mean Man

In one of the great self-pitying speeches towards the end of the show’s run, Tony Soprano, ruminating over the decline in his relationship with nephew/protege Christopher Moltisanti, whined, “All those memories are for what? All I am to him is some asshole bully.” The parallels are not exact — Tony Soprano is an infinitely more sympathetic character than Andrew Cuomo — but you wonder if, even for a second, that same kind of response emerged from the governor of New York in the wake of comments from his former protege, New York City mayor Bill de Blasio, describing Cuomo as a bitter, vindictive prick who is more interested in revenge than he is in helping people in town. For those of us who have feared that, rather than craftily allowing himself to appear as an amiable dunce in an attempt to do liberalism by stealth, de Blasio actually is just a big fucking dummy who means well but couldn’t tie his shoes without asking for four different perspectives on whether you put the left lace over the right or the other way around, it’s a pleasure to see him finally stand up for himself, whether or not it will have a negative effect on how the governor treats the city from now on. (What’s Cuomo going to do, fuck New York over worse? He’s boxed out from running for president and if he wants a third term he’s not going to get it on votes from Utica and Plattsburgh alone.) Maybe it’s even possible that Cuomo will develop a new respect for de Blasio for showing enough spine to — hahahah just kidding, it’s good to have a laugh as everything falls to shit and giant glass boxes where the world’s wealthiest scumbags can park their money in case things go bad at home continue to rise all around us. In the meantime we might as well enjoy the spectacle of two grown men bitching about each other through the press while the city is once again run by a man from Boston.