Dentist Fake, Terror Real

“You hear about things like this. You never think it’s gonna happen to you and here I am and it’s happening.”
 — Riverdale dentist Jeffrey Schoengold discusses his office manager, Valbona Yzeiraj, “arrested Thursday on accusations of masquerading as a dentist at a Bronx dental office and charged in a 13-count indictment with pulling teeth and even performing root canals.” As someone with a pervasive, longstanding phobia of dentistry I find this horrifying, but perhaps the most frightening part of all is Dr. Schoengold’s quote up there. “You hear about things like this.” REALLY? DO YOU? Do dentists sit around at their dentist bars talking about how they had to let another office manager go because she was impersonating a dentist and pulling teeth while they were away? Is this a regular bit of chit-chat amongst the dentarati? “She seemed fine when I hired her off of Craigslist, but I ran out to get my dry cleaning one afternoon and when I got back she was wearing my white coat and draining an abscess on a walk-in patient.” Oh my God, I am never going near a dentist’s office again.