Now You Don't Even Need Words To Tell People How Sad You Are

Some days it seems so dark that you don’t think you can remember a time when there was even a little light leaking in. The big issues are impossible to think about and the small stuff, the things that everyone else manages to get done without actually being aware that they are doing them, feels so overwhelming that the idea of facing it adds another twenty pounds to the heavy blanket of self-loathing you sling over your shoulders on the rare occasions where you manage to make yourself get out of bed and stay vertical for more than an hour. You’d try to leave the house but you know that as sad and lonely and hopeless as it is being locked in and alone, going outdoors would only make things worse since you can’t help but see the sorrow in every face you pass by, and the occasional bright eyes and giggling grins are even worse because you know how temporary those feelings are and how much more painful it’s going to be when those same smiling people realize just how awful things actually are, when the heartbreak hits home for them. And then, of course, you remember that maybe they are happy, that it probably is just you who feels this way, and why shouldn’t it be, because you’re worthless and you suck and all the friends and loved ones that you are turning away are better off without you and probably the kindest thing you can do for them is not make them have to put up with your miserable, tiresome personality and pathetic neediness. Not having to deal with you is probably the high point of their week, and that is one of the only things about which you’re sure anymore. Some days that’s how it feels, and lately those days are becoming more and more frequent, and as down as that pulls you you are still trying to cling to it because you know that what comes next will be even worse, and you’ve only got so long before that happens. Anyway, now there are some emojis for people like you.