How to Cope with the Lack of Snow

Look, I know you’re upset. I know right before you went to bed last night you looked one last time out the window at the falling snow and thought to yourself, “It’s just going to keep snowing and it’s never going to stop.” I know you slept better than you have in months, maybe years, contented in the knowledge that the city would be buffeted by the winds and blanketed by the storm and then buried deep and forever. Buffeted, blanketed, and buried. And yet here you are, wide awake, uninterred, probably not even needing to put on gloves today, slowly realizing that not only did the weather fail to put an end to everything, you’re going to have to spend the rest of the day hearing people argue about who got it wrong any why. Even about this there will be thinkpieces and explainers. The storm that was supposed to bring you peace at last will be one more fucking stop on the endless local line of idiocy in which everyone shouts out into the void to try to convince themselves and others that what they have to say has meaning, they they really matter. Everything you thought you’d never have to worry about again is still there and now you’ve got the added inconvenience of having to cope with it all while the cacophony of self-appointed experts asserts that they would have done things differently and also you’re going to have to go through the day with damp socks, which is fully the worst. Listen to me: I know your agony. I share your pain. I too ache from the same deep disappointment that weighs so heavily on your head right now. I cannot tell you that everything will be all right, because we both know that that could never be true; as terrible as everything is today you can be pretty sure that tomorrow is going to be worse. What I will promise you is this: The end will come. All the anguish and torment through which you suffer each day will eventually be brought to a close. It’s just not going to be from a snowstorm. It’s going to be fire. That’s one of the few things the Bible actually gets right. Keep your chin up and muddle through. We’ll get there. It’s gonna be so hot.