The Diary of Samantha Pepys
by Susan Harlan
October 8: Up betimes and to the office to do business. After copying and writing some documents, so to luncheon, where I desired fricassee of rabbit and a leg of mutton boiled and three carps in a dish, but instead ate a sandwich. Then back to the office to discourse with students regarding the preparation of their documents, and I took pains to find out what amongst the students was wanted and fitting to be done. So by Subaru home, and by and by to Whole Foods, where I purchased pasta, which pleased me much. The saleslady did request if I would like to contribute to a charity, and I declined, having not the inclination. There was a great shower in the streets, so an employee walked me to my car with an umbrella, and I had cause to reflect on this practice as not enjoyable for the employee and uncomfortable for myself. And so home to dine in my chamber, where I ate heartily and lustily, and then to bed and the weather very chilly and requiring another blanket.
October 9: Woke late and to the office, where I prepared my affairs and papers. Having an old dress new furbished, I was pretty neat in clothes today — and my mongrel dog very clean and proper, having received an unwelcome bath after rolling in something deceased. Walked the streets a half an hour with the mongrel dog and then to the market for a roasted chicken and potatoes, where people discoursed in the aisles about problems concerning airline miles. Then home to sit in my commodious room and to pay bills and copy documents, which pleased me much, and I had a pretty dinner of the chicken. Having put things in order, a desire for good cheer and discourse prompted a telephone call to my sister in California, who is great with child and fatigued. Drank a Manhattan and good Malago wine. Persistent sniffles suggest a malady is coming on, and I am plagued by a cold sore, which lends the appearance of a diseased French prostitute. And so up and to bed.
October 10: Continued to discourse with students about the taking of their exams. Stress regarding preparation for this event, and the posing of desperate questions to myself by electronic mail, gave rise to a need of taking of spirits and a roasted lamb and oysters with caviar, but was not able to acquire these items, so settled for a beef burrito and chicken tacos from El Rancho Taqueria, which was boisterous with young children about. And then home from the restaurant by Subaru to watch House Hunters International. Took spirits in the form of a Manhattan and then to the walking of the mongrel dog and to the sorting of my papers and affairs. Contemplated the laundering of sheets and clothing to order the house, but decided that such labor was foolery. Very nearly fuddled. And then to the telephone to discourse with friends, both handsome people, about the acquisition of twin children born of their loins, and the progress thereof. Fatigued but merry. Then did the day end, with joy everywhere. And so at night to bed.
October 11: Sluggish from the eating of two full dinners of tacos and a burrito last evening. Ordered documents during the day and took tea, and then in the evening to dine with friends in the neighboring quarter, having been invited thither. Had pleasant and stimulating discourse concerning their recent acquisition of a domicile, which was most commodious and welcoming. Also had discourse concerning their voyage to IKEA to acquire necessary objects and bags of goods for the decoration of their rooms. And although we did not drink to the King’s health, we had much merriment and wine, and I was glad of their company. Very merry before, at, and after dinner, and the more for that our dinner was a great and most neatly dressed salmon on the Grill Master with Tandoori spices, and served on a plate correctly chosen by the hostess. And so home late, and to walk the mongrel dog and then to mix a Manhattan and to watch films from long ago. And so to bed without prayers, and slept pretty well, and the loud songbirds outside my window not too intrusive.
October 12: Waked in the morning with my head in sad taking through with last night’s drink, which I am very sorry for. Perused magazines on my verandah in the fresh air for several hours, and took tea and discoursed with parents on the telephone to acquire news. Had a great deal of pleasure watching people walk up and down the street, and I myself wore a shirt with short sleeves, it being very hot weather. Prepared secular sermons for the coming week, including one on the subject of a knight with a burning pestle. Desired to dine on hot pie made of swan, its flesh sold in market and excellent sweet meet, but could not acquire this, so prepared pasta with red sauce that was not as satisfying, but fine. So I to bed.
October 13: Up and to prepare my papers and accounts and to draft documents, and in the evening to watch pleasing murder mysteries about Oxford containing a lusty gentleman. For dinner, more Mexican food, taken in solitude and reflection, and then to Barnes and Noble to purchase a periodical, and the cashier friendly and smiling. Enquiry as to whether I possessed an account was met by a no, but I was assured this was not a problem. Then to Home Depot Road and Target Road in the center of the city, where sundry necessary items were purchased. Walked through the park with the mongrel dog, who ate something unpleasant and then vomited it up later. My mind in good temper of satisfaction and desiring pigeon for dinner, but instead dined on a piece of fish in my chamber and ate heartily, having taken no food since lunch at Five Guys, a most pleasant tavern with cheeseburgers. And so up to my chamber to read of a gentleman who commits a murder on a beach but feels no remorse, and then to bed.
October 14: And so up and to the office to have meetings about several pressing affairs and to submit sundry forms regarding expenses for business voyages. Ordered my affairs with respect to an upcoming conference event. Then to administer a midterm, and back to the office for the afternoon, where I sorted my papers and had good discourse with colleagues. Felt warm, having chosen to wear a sweater that was recently cleaned and had a high collar. After my labors, so to the market to purchase a chicken and broccoli and saw lusty and pretty-humored gentlemen about but did not have kisses of any of them. Then home to dinner, the roasted bird not so well dressed as I might have liked, but acceptable. And to sit on the couch with the mongrel dog and to rest myself and order my accounts and to watch Turner Classic Movies. And so upstairs to bed to conclude the book about the unrepentant murderer, and then to begin a new book on the subject of voyages.
October 15: I rose today without any pain. Feeling an overall sense of health and vitality, exacerbated by the taking of several cups of coffee and walking of the mongrel dog in the morning. Had a brief exchange with my gentleman neighbor in order to ascertain his thoughts on the changing of the season, it having hitherto been summer weather, as well as a discussion with other lady neighbor about the progress of marking student papers, which were reasonably pleasing, and the possibility of an excursion to the mountains. Desired for dinner a great dish of four lobsters, three tarts, a Lampry pie, a dish of anchovies, and good old wine with the labels on the bottles, but could not procure these things, so dined on pasta with red sauce and undertook a lengthy and pleasurable telephone conversation with a friend in New York to learn of news. Late in the evening, I took occasion to be concerned with the sluttery of my house and tidied things. And then up to my chamber, my mind in good temper of satisfaction. And so to bed.
Susan Harlan is an English professor who professes Shakespeare at Wake Forest University.
Photo via Wiki Commons
