Everything You Have Needed to Know in 2014 (So Far)
Today, in the Washington Post, Eve Fairbanks asks:
Could “all you need to know” be the most insidious, reductive, and lame story formula currently conquering our reading life? Everywhere you turn there’s another purported ne plus ultra explainer purporting to tell us “absolutely everything we could possibly need to know” about some current event, some curiosity of history, some deep mystery of life on Earth.
Good question! “All you need to know” can be distilled down further to the no-less-demanding formulation of “need to know.” It’s still just as chiding, just as exhaustive, just as needy, when you consider the full range of its implications: You are required to know what is in this document in order to be a complete human; what is contained herein is Soylent for your brain, the stripped down, crucial bits required for intellectual survival; and all knowledge that exists out of this space about a given topic (or anything, really) is wholly unnecessary. Once the diktat of “necessary knowledge” has been whittled down to its core, the true scope of its permutations can reveal itself in full.
And there are so many things to know. Here is everything (or at least most of the things, since I gave up fourteen pages into the Google search) that you have needed to know in 2014, according to the Washington Post:
July 22
What you need to know about the AFC East
What you need to know about the NFC North
What you need to know about the AFC North
What you need to know about the NFC East
July 20
What Metro riders need to know for Monday
July 18
What you need to know about Boehner’s plan to sue Obama
A Florida judge just voided the state’s congressional districts. Here’s what you need to know.
July 3
This tweet tells you everything you need to know about how Hobby Lobby fits into the 2014 election
July 2
Everything you really need to know about Songza (… and every other music-streaming site)
What you need to know to have a fabulous July Fourth in D.C.
July 1
Everything you need to know about the SCOTUS contraception ruling
June 29
Missed the Sunday shows? Here’s all you need to know.
June 15
Everything you need to know from the Sunday shows in 5 videos
June 11
Here’s what you need to know about the men who could become Afghanistan’s next president
June 10
Here’s what you need to know about Donald Sterling’s lawsuit against the NBA
June 9
Five numbers you need to know from the Veterans Affairs department audit
June 4
Everything you need to know about California’s primary results
June 2
Everything you need to know about the EPA’s proposed rule on coal plants
May 30
Everything you need to know about the VA — and the scandals engulfing it
May 29
The five things you need to know about Snowden’s first U.S. television interview
Everything you need to know about Michelle Obama’s school food fight
May 28
Four things you need to know about the guy who beat Ralph Hall
May 23
The 10 things you need to know about Julian Castro
May 19
Everything you need to know about the alleged Chinese military hacker squad the U.S. just indicted
May 17
What you need to know about Julián Castro, the likely next head of HUD
May 16
Everything you need to know about Ohio Governor (and maybe 2016′er) John Kasich
May 15
Fall 2014 TV schedule: Snapshot of everything you need to know
Today, the FCC will vote on the future of the Internet. Here’s everything you need to know.
May 14
Everything you need to know about U.S. health, in 8 charts and 3 paragraphs
Everything you need to know about primary day in Nebraska and West Virginia
May 12
Primaries everywhere! This chart tells you the ones you need to know.
May 7
What you need to know about Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba Group
May 2
Everything you need to know if you’re heading to Nationals Park on Saturday
Everything you need to know about betting on the Kentucky Derby
May 1
Everything you need to know about executions in the United States
April 28
What you need to know about the Fed’s meeting this week
April 25
Five things you need to know about the Northwestern union vote
April 24
Everything you need to know about Capital — the hot summer beach read
April 23
Everything you need to know about popes and saints
April 22
Everything you need to know about Aereo, the Supreme Court and the future of TV
Everything you need to know about today’s Florida special primary election
Everything you need to know about the D.C. license changeover
Everything you need to know about the latest round of Supreme Court cases
April 15
Everything you need to know about the long fight between Cliven Bundy and the federal government
What you need to know about Stephen Colbert taking over the ‘Late Show’
April 4
What you need to know about the policy fallout from the Fort Hood shooting
April 3
What you need to know about the Supreme Court’s new money-in-politics decision
March 27
Everything you need to know about CAT, the Secret Service’s baddest bad boys
What you need to know about the latest health-care delay
March 24
Everything you need to know about the Washington landslide
Here’s what you need to know about the Hobby Lobby case
Everything you need to know about the Brown-Shaheen ‘People’s Pledge’ ruckus
March 19
Nine things you need to know before filling out your NCAA tournament bracket
March 18
Everything you need to know about Michelle Obama’s trip to China
March 12
What you need to know about the Federal Reserve’s new cast members
March 11
Everything you need to know about today’s special election in Florida
March 10
Everything you need to know about Apple’s latest iOS 7 update
Everything you need to know about what happened at CPAC
March 5
Everything you need to know about Obama’s budget
What you need to know about the SAT
March 4
Seven things you absolutely need to know about Obama’s budget
February 27
Everything you need to know about Google Glass
February 26
Everything you need to know about this year’s Oscar nominees, in less than six minutes
February 19
What you need to know about the CBO’s minimum-wage report
February 18
What you need to know about Ukraine
February 7
What you need to know about Putin’s popularity
January 22
Everything you need to know about the Chris Christie investigations
January 18
Everything you need to know about Common Core
January 17
Everything you need to know about Obama’s NSA reforms, in plain English
January 14
What you need to know about the omnibus appropriations bill
January 10
Target breach: What you need to know
January 9
The 10 things you need to know about Bridge-gate
January 8
Everything you need to know about the war on poverty
January 2
All you need to know for wild-card weekend
January 1
Everything you need to know about life under Obamacare
I’m sure there will be more things we need to know in the coming days.
Image of a bear who knows everything he needs to know by Cloudtail