Recent White Apologies, Ranked

by Brendan O’Connor

humblewhiteguy

16. “Thanks for taking the time to talk Mr. President. Your words meant alot.” — Justin Bieber, after he shouted “Fuck Bill Clinton!” while peeing in a bucket. [Twitter]

15. “I am learning.” — Rachael Sacks, author of “I’m Not Going To Pretend That I’m Poor To Be Accepted By You.” [Thought Catalog]

14. “I am learning how to learn.” — Tal Fortgang, author of “Checking My Privilege: Character as the Basis of Privilege” [NYT]

13. “I love Korea. Im sorry” — Justin Bieber, after he posted photos of his visit to a Japanese war memorial widely understood by other Pacific nations to be a shrine to Japanese war crimes. [Twitter]

12. “Sorry if it offended anybody.” — Caleb Johnson, “American Idol” season 13 contestant, after he referred to fans requesting songs as “retards.” [Facebook]

11. “It was not my intention to criticize Pope Francis.” — Sarah Palin, after she criticized Pope Francis. [Facebook]

10. “Got carried w excitement over Cinco de Mayo celebration on GMA — sorry” — Lara Spencer [Twitter]

9. “Please be assured I did everything in my power to not use that word… My efforts obviously weren’t quite good enough.” — BBC “Top Gear” host Jeremy Clarkson, after he dropped the N-bomb while rhyming “Eeny-meeny-miney-moe.” [Twitter]

8. “It’s certain that there were things we could have done differently.” — Github CEO and co-founder Chris Wanstrath, after former employee Julie Horvath revealed ongoing harassment at the company. [Github]

7. “I will try to elevate my vernacular to the level of those great men that I’m learning from in the world of politics.” — Ted Nugent, after he called President Obama a “subhuman mongrel” in
an interview with Guns.com

. [CNN]

6. “I doubt that I am the first member of Congress to tell off a reporter, and I am sure I won’t be the last.” — Michael Grimm, after he threatened to break a NY1 reporter in half. Grimm has since been indicted by federal prosecutors. [NYT]

5. “What I said was offensive,” — Rockingham, Vermont Town Manager Willis “Chip” Stearns, after he said that he hoped the deployment of K-9 units would make “a lot of Latinos leave” town. [Rutland Herald]

4. “I’m a monstrous hypocrite.” — Hugo Schwyzer [Twitter]

3. “We failed.” — Daily Oklahoman sports editor Mike Sherman on his paper’s “Mr. Unreliable” Kevin Durant headline. [NewsOK]

2. “I wish I had just paid her off.” — Donald Sterling [DuJour]

1. “We apologize for any inconvenience.” — Instagram, after it accidentally shut down Rihanna’s account. [Daily Mail]

#apologies #sorrynotsorry #whitepeople

Brendan O’Connor is a reporter in New York.