Fucking Steak And How To Cook It

Awww, the New York Times thinks it has “a rock-solid new system” for cooking steak at home. That’s so cute! Adorable! I am both tickled and amused by this delightful attempt at disrupting the cooking-steak-at-home space. It’s just so sweet! Also LISTEN UP NEW YORK TIMES DINING READERS, NEW YORK TIMES DINING WRITERS AND ANYONE ELSE WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE: This is how you cook a fucking steak. There is no other way, and there will be no further discussion or appeals on the matter. Do not make me address this issue again. I will not be anywhere near as pleasant next time.