Mangled Clown Corpse Tweets

“’Selfies…here I come!’ the company quoted Ronald McDonald as saying in its announcement on Wednesday. Mr. McDonald won’t get his own Twitter handle, but the company will post comments attributed to him using the hashtag #RonaldMcDonald.”
 — The fresh visage of Ronald McDonald, all but buried in recent years as McDonald’s seemingly realized that modern children cannot be reliably plied into gorging themselves on fried slivers of potatoes and industrial-grade beef patties assembled by workers so underpaid that the company itself has suggested that they get a second job by a weird, creepy clown, proves that no #brand can resist the lure of Twitter, even dead ones.