2013 Is Dead, Are You Next?

by Alex Balk January 6, 2014

Ugh, another fucking year. If this is your first day back in calendar 2014, you’ve probably got a bunch of “real” work to do before you can return to your regular diet of pretending to focus on whatever the hell it is that you need to get it up each day to feign interest for while secretly surfing the Internet. It’s a terrible existence, but at the end there’s death, so really I don’t have any other tokens of comfort for you. That said, once you’re settled in here’s a bunch of stuff you may have missed from our year-end review: crying at your desk, least annoying metal albums, lesbians, restraining orders, topless Geraldo, enjoyable interviews, crazy cats, clever movie violence, terrifying European television, backdoor porn, Rihanna, tragic style, fan fiction, explosions in the sky, parking in Los Angeles and expensive workouts. Already read them? READ ’EM AGAIN. You’re not the only one having a hard time getting back to the grind.