What Is Neither Long Nor Short?

For some reason — perhaps it my tendency toward speaking with a degree of authority which belies the low level of expertise I actually possess, perhaps it is related to the fact that there are only three or four topics about which I have any actual interest but those are the things that I am inclined to bang on about with an incessant repetition and a consistent rotation that helps to create an illusion of breadth which is widely at odds with the actuality of my vacuity, maybe it is just the fact that if you don’t die for long enough people get the almost always incorrect impression that you know more things than you do and I have so far sucked at dying despite what I think are some pretty solid attempts on my part — I am constantly receiving requests from strangers to help them resolve the major mysteries of life. Why are we here, they ask me. What is the point of all this suffering, they implore. How can one contend with the day-to-day struggle of existence when one knows that all things end and even the most significant achievements will fall by the wayside like so much sand on a windswept beach, they beseech me. Please, they beg, for the love of all that is holy, explain to me what Medium is. Well, I can answer all of the other questions, but the last one has left me utterly flummoxed and uncharacteristically silent for much longer than I have been comfortable admitting to. So thank God this guy’s got it covered. Now I have something to point at when I pretend I have all the answers.