Google Is 15

On this day in 1998, Stanford University Ph.D. students Larry Page and Sergey Brin incorporated Google, currently the world’s greatest Internet company and what will eventually be the world’s greatest company for whatever Google eventually decides to become. How great is Google? Google could not be greater! And I am not just saying that because they have so much of my personal information that just doing a quick mental inventory of the things they know about me — things I probably don’t even know, or want to admit, about myself — provokes an astounding degree of anxiety and regret and recriminations of the “how could you be so stupid, giving up that much privacy just so you could have a convenient way to access email? Idiot! Death would be to easy and good for you.” variety. No, Google would be amazing no matter how many of my secrets and lies they could access and share with the world at any moment, which I’m sure they won’t do just because they are so super super super great. Super. Happy birthday, Google! Please keep that thing you have the pictures of quiet. You know what I’m talking about.