Lady Miss Kier Is 50

On the occasion of Kierin Magenta Kirby’s 50th birthday, I think it is time that we make an entirely sober assessment of our current condition and ask ourselves if groove does indeed remain within the heart. If we are being completely frank, I cannot honestly say that it is still in mine. I can’t point to any specific instance or series of instances from which this deficiency of coronary groove springs, but all medical evidence shows that as men (and it is particularly the case in men, although it has been known to occur in some women) grow older, their heart contains less groove then it did at their physical peak. Other than changing my diet or taking groove supplements there is apparently very little I can do to raise my levels of heart groove, which is a shame since there are plenty of days when I wake up with a surprising enthusiasm and zest for life that would only be sustained by a decent amount of groove in the heart, only to see it ebb away due to that absence. I suppose I will ask my doctor if my heart is healthy enough for groove at my next appointment. In the meantime, I guess I will satisfy myself with memories of an age when my heart had so much groove it was coming out of my ears. Also, happy birthday Kierin Magenta Kirby. I bet your heart is still pretty packed. With groove.