The Internet Continues To Collapse Into Itself

“A poster going by the screennames ‘TimeTravel_0’ and ‘John Titor’ on a variety of message boards, beginning with the forum at the Time Travel Institute, claimed he was a soldier sent from 2036, the year the computer virus wiped the world. His mission was to head back to 1975 in order to snatch-and-grab an IBM 5100 computer, which had the necessary equipment to fight the future virus…. Over the next four months, Titor responded to every question other posters had, describing future events in poetically-phrased ways, always submitted with a general disclaimer that alternate realities do exist, so his reality may not be our own. In between dire urgings to learn first aid and stop eating beef — Mad Cow was a serious threat in his reality — Titor provided a number of technical specs regarding how time travel worked, with overly complex algorithms and grainy, hard-to-make-out photos of his actual machine…. On March 24, 2001, Titor offered his final piece of advice (‘Bring a gas can with you when the car dies on the side of the road’), signed off forever, and returned home. He was never heard from again.”
 — I hate to break it to you, but the future is going to be a LOT more annoying than this.