The Only Turkish Restaurant in London You Need to Follow on Twitter

Customer: Are you ‘gay-friendly’?Bro, we’re so gay-friendly that you could practically adopt our 4 year old Kazakh waiter for £3 an hour.

— Mangal 2 Restaurant (@Mangal2) April 5, 2013

Now the most delightful restaurant in the English-speaking world is in… Shacklewell? At the top of Hackney? No, sorry, ugh, London, technically they’re at the top of Dalston, which is just up from Shoreditch? If that helps? “Across the street from the Istanbul Restaurant on Stoke Newington Road?” Yeah, me neither. Thanks to exceptional and prolonged tweet work, the London restaurant that most of us have never been to is now the most alluring place imaginable.

Our staff tried living off £53 a week, but then they started having power trips, pretending they were Snoop Dogg in discotheques; cocaine.

— Mangal 2 Restaurant (@Mangal2) April 3, 2013

ALSO THEY MADE A CYPRIOT CHEESE JOKE.

American customers are too upbeat about everything. ‘Table water’s here! Awesome!’ You’re killing our emo vibe, bro.

— Mangal 2 Restaurant (@Mangal2) March 19, 2013

Breastfeeding in public is fine. It’s essential. But you’re 56, and he’s 19. You’re both male. What is this? Where’s the milk? Guys.

— Mangal 2 Restaurant (@Mangal2) March 14, 2013

In conclusion, America sucks.