South Brooklyn Has Lost Its Real Estate Mind

Over the last three years, everyone bought everything in South Brooklyn. Now, the dregs are being dumped onto the market, for surprising — some would say shocking! — prices. Obviously the big palatial townhouses of Cobble Hill, Boerum Hill and Carroll Gardens still get listed at $2 and $3+ million. (Also, haha, here is an awful one-bedroom for $760K.) 71 3rd Street, which is two tiny, tiny stories and a basement, recently sold for $1.2 million. 339 Hoyt Street, which was harrowing, if largely untouched — the stairs were made of plywood, held together by little brackets — sold for $1.47 million a few months ago. And now it gets worse.

Exhibit A: a shabby 20×40 foot building, untouched since… the late 70s? Can be yours with a mortgage of $6200 a month. How untouched?

Yes.

Exhibit B: 81 2nd Street, 1800 square foot for $1.4 million. Everything inside it needs to be burned so that it doesn’t return in some horrible zombie manifestation and kill you.

Exhibit C: A gorgeous, if smallish, renovated little townhouse on Bond Street. 2000 square feet. $1.8 million. Hmm, Bond Street, Bond Street… OH RIGHT THERE WAS JUST A HURRICANE THAT TURNED BOND STREET INTO A WAIST-HIGH RIVER OF TOXIC SLUDGE.