Rich People Money Prettier Than Regular People Money

Yeah, fine, there’s a new hundred dollar bill. Whoop-de-damn-doo. The $1 bill is fifty years old in its current configuration, and I see a lot more of those than I do hundreds. I’m BORED. Change up the single for me already! I mean, I get it, the government wants to phase out paper money altogether so that it can further its plan of frustrating my every move by forcing me to stand behind an even longer line of idiots who are unable to find their debit cards or swipe them properly so that the commission of a single-item purchase becomes a marathon event and you just want to kill everybody and yourself, but still, let’s give poor George a makeover while we’re waiting. Anyway, these are my thoughts on currency. I’m aware that you’ve been clamoring for clarity on this issue, and now you know.