Blue Angels Air Shows, the Only Live Theater Real Americans Love, Shut Down By Sequester

There’s nothing like going out to some sun-blasted airfield an hour outside of town to see the famous Blue Angels fly around so close to each other that you never know when they’ll crash into the spectators — it’s the perfect mix of NASCAR and military worship, and Republicans in Congress have shut down this beloved display of air superiority.

“The Navy believes there is value in demonstrating the professionalism and capabilities of our Navy and Marine Corps Naval Aviation team, thus inspiring future generations of Sailors and Marines,” the Blue Angels said in a love letter to Obama press release. “The Navy intends to continue aerial demonstrations in the future as the budget situation permits.”