Meditations on Glasgow with Gerard Butler

City Paper: There’s a lot I don’t remember, because I was 17 years old and I managed to get served everywhere, so that was fun, plus on top of that I was an American, so I was like a thing from a zoo and everybody was trying to get me loaded.

Gerard Butler: You’re either gonna get punched or fucked.

CP: I went into a bar, I had a green shirt, and I had a jacket on over it, and I went into this bar with some friends, and I sat down and took the jacket off, and I had a green shirt with yellow sleeves, and it was an Orange bar —

GB: Ohh.

CP: All these hands came out and grabbed the jacket and put it back on my shoulders, but then for the rest of the night, they would reach over and pull down the jacket and show people, “See? Look at this idiot.” I had no idea about any of that stuff.

GB: [Laughs] Oh, it’s crazy. You say that, and it’s like saying, “I walked into the favelas in Brazil with a fucking T-shirt on saying ‘I hate Brazilian cunts.’”

CP: Kill me.

GB: Kill me! Exactly. Target!

See? Interviewing celebrities is easy.