Britain Cracking Down On Tripartite Angles

“A school has banned triangular flapjacks on health and safety grounds after a pupil was hit in the eye by one during a lunch-time food fight. Dinner ladies at the comprehensive school were told to cut flapjacks into squares or rectangles only from now on after the Year 7 boy was sent home complaining of a sore eye.”
 — It is important to keep in mind that “flapjacks” are different over there (here is a manual) but it is more important to keep in mind that there is nothing British people cannot turn into a knife.