Mad Scientist Seeks Lady To Give Birth To Neanderthal Monster

Professor George Church of Harvard Medical School believes he can reconstruct Neanderthal DNA and resurrect the species which became extinct 33,000 years ago. His scheme is reminiscent of Jurassic Park but, while in the film dinosaurs were created in a laboratory, Professor Church’s ambitious plan requires a human volunteer.

— Don’t worry, potential surrogate moms: The professor thinks Neanderthals might’ve been smarter than us, in some way or another that might come in handy when Homo Sapiens are wiped out by an upcoming apocalypse.