Go, Escaped Crocodiles, Go!

“Many of the crocodiles have been recaptured, but more than half are still on the loose.”
 — Some 15,000 crocodiles escaped a crocodile farm in South Africa after the human owner opened the gates last weekend to prevent a storm surge during heavy rains. That’s a lot of crocodiles! These lovable creatures have been unfairly besmirched by their association with horrible footwear in recent years, and also by two guys from San Diego who write some nice songs but are far too derivative of Glasgow’s forever awesomer and underrated Jesus and Mary Chain.

I mean, gimme a break, right?

African crocodiles are famous in the animal world for being good parents. According to National Geographic:

“One unusual characteristic of this fearsome predator is its caring nature as a parent. Where most reptiles lay their eggs and move on, mother and father Nile crocs ferociously guard their nests until the eggs hatch, and they will often roll the eggs gently in their mouths to help hatching babies emerge.”

They are farmed for their meat and valuable skin — which is used to make belts and boots for people in San Diego. So the jailbreak is righteous and heroic in that regard. But of course, crocodiles also kill a lot of people. Like 200 people a year, making them one of the dangerous animals to humans on the planet. (Their salt-water cousins in Northern Australian tally ten times that!)

So stay away from the Limpopo River, humans. Give these things a wide berth.