CNN Executives Carefully Reviewing Reader Submission From Atheist Mom

Look at this headline, if your faith is strong enough: “Why I Raise My Children Without God.” Whoa, what is going on at CNN.com? Did someone forget that CNN’s job is to protect God from weird blog posts by random moms in Texas? What if a child finds out there’s no God? Oh don’t worry, we’re pretty sure Newtown took care of that, for the current generation of five-year-olds. And now our children supposedly shouldn’t be narcissists? Is that even American, to not think the entire world and also an All-Powerful Deity exists solely to get you certain presents and make you a rapper on reality television someday?

God Teaches Narcissism

“God has a plan for you.” Telling kids there is a big guy in the sky who has a special path for them makes children narcissistic; it makes them think the world is at their disposal and that, no matter what happens, it doesn’t really matter because God is in control. That gives kids a sense of false security and creates selfishness. “No matter what I do, God loves me and forgives me. He knows my purpose. I am special.” The irony is that, while we tell this story to our kids, other children are abused and murdered, starved and neglected. All part of God’s plan, right?

Are you being sarcastic about God, ma’am? On a cable news website?

Perhaps you shouldn’t be a mother after all. Or, you know, perhaps you’re right, and even people still suffering the mentally-crippling cultural delusion of monotheism occasionally wonder if the “plan” of God is simply to ignore us forever while we rape and massacre and bomb each other as our only planet — which God apparently thought was the center of the universe — dries up and burns out and leaves nothing but a road of bones for the Terminator robot tanks to crush.

Still, the CNN web producers are so freaked out over this lady writing free blog content for CNN.com that there’s now a pop-up that informs you the blog post is under review. If you’re brave enough, you can click the OK button and then you will be allowed to see this heresy, for now. But CNN didn’t become the Number Three cable-news network in America by letting people kick around God, so we can only hope this she-witch’s post is removed and replaced with something else, like Wolf Blitzer’s musings on the magic of holograms.