Poisonous Monkey Thing Found Somewhere, Is Already Endangered

It disarms you with cuteness, and then it kills with its bite.

A weird little primate with a poisonous bite has been discovered in Borneo. We are still finding new primates! Of course, the creature is already threatened with extinction. Nycticebus kayan is a new species of slow loris. It looks kind of like a little bear with a striped demon face. So cute!

But the new loris is already under threat from the Asian pet trade in part because its “teddy-bear face” make it attractive for illegal poaching, the team of UK and US scientists said.

So, animal trappers working for exotic pet stores in Asia found this new lemur-like venomous creature before the biologists managed to identify it. Why do people want to keep rare wild animals as “pets,” again? Because people are awful. At least there’s a chance this new kind of slow loris creature can kill its human jailers with its bite, while the humans sleep.