Football Pick Haikus For Week 12
Thursday, November 22 — Thanksgiving!
Houston -3 At Detroit
While you are eating
turkey the Lions will be
getting their ass kicked. PICK: TEXANS
At Dallas -3 Washington
While you are taking
a tryptophan nap Romo
will be screwing up. PICK: REDSKINS
New England -6.5 At NY Jets
While you’re at a bar
avoiding your family
the Jets will still suck. PICK: PATRIOTS
Sunday, November 25
At Cincinnati -8 Oakland
Bengals’ A. J. Green
can’t be covered by any
group of human beings. PICK: BENGALS
Pittsburgh -1 At Cleveland
Byron Leftwich can’t
Quarterback his way out of
an airport restroom. PICK: BROWNS
At Indianapolis -3 Buffalo
Colts will pick themselves
up and take it to the Bills
in a great shootout. PICK: COLTS
Denver -10.5 At Kansas City
Being a fan of
the Chiefs is terrible for
your health and well-being. PICK: BRONCOS
Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville
The Jaguars’ offense
put on quite a show last week.
Go nuts, Chad Henne! PICK: JAGUARS
At Chicago Off Minnesota
Bears should let a
random fan with a moustache
be their quarterback. PICK: VIKINGS
Atlanta -1 At Tampa Bay
If Matt Ryan throws
five more interceptions they
should put him on ice. PICK: FALCONS
Seattle -3 At Miami
The Seahawks kinda
suck on the road. But the Fish
suck everywhere. PICK: SEAHAWKS
Baltimore -1 At San Diego
The Chargers will win
because they usually
don’t break your heart yet. PICK: CHARGERS
San Francisco -2.5 At New Orleans
Colin Kaepernick
is fun to watch but voodoo
beats his good juju. PICK: SAINTS
At Arizona -2.5 St. Louis
Former St. Louis
team turns current residents
into frozen custard. PICK: CARDINALS
At NY Giants -2.5 Green Bay
Eli Manning must
wake up from his coma or
the Giants hit snooze. PICK: PACKERS
Monday, November 26
At Philadelphia -2.5 Carolina
The proud Philly fans
deserve a better effort
than these green sad frauds. PICK: PANTHERS
Last week’s Haiku Picks went 9–5. That’s 73–85–3 for the season. Movement in the right direction! Have a great holiday!
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.