Football Pick Haikus For Week 11

Thursday, November 15

At Buffalo -2.5 Miami

C. J. Spiller is
very fast and dangerous
so I will Bill-lieve! PICK: BILLS

Sunday, November 18

At Washington -3.5 Philadelphia

All Eagles’ players
ought to emulate Nick Foles’
awesome mullet ‘doo. PICK: REDSKINS

Green Bay -3.5 At Detroit

The Detroit Lions
ought to hire Dr. Freud and
Dr, Jung as coaches. PICK: PACKERS

At Atlanta -10 Arizona

The Battle of Birds!
Give me 10 points and I’ll take
Tom to eat Jerry. PICK: FALCONS

Tampa Bay -1.5 At Carolina

Cam Newton is great
at pretending to be Superman
but bad at throwing. PICK: PANTHERS

At Dallas -8 Cleveland

If the Browns beat the
Cowboys I promise to crap
my pants in public. PICK: BROWNS

At St. Louis -3.5 NY Jets

Some Jets players think
Tim Tebow’s terrible and
they know terrible. PICK: RAMS

At New England -9 Indianapolis

This game could be close
because the Pats’ defense loves
to give points away. PICK: COLTS

At Houston -15.5 Jacksonville

I’ll take the Jaguars
because the Texans will get
bored in second half. PICK: JAGUARS

Cincinnati -3.5 At Kansas City

Chiefs players like to
jump around and celebrate
but don’t win a lot. PICK: BENGALS

New Orleans -5 At Oakland

When the Big Easy
Meets the Black Hole We All Know
There Will Be Vomit! PICK: SAINTS

At Denver -7.5 San Diego

At Halftime they should
fire Coach Norv Turner and
hire Coach Phil Jackson. PICK: BRONCOS

Baltimore -3.5 At Pittsburgh

Ben Roethlisberger
has a busted arm and so
the Steelers will lose. PICK: RAVENS

Monday, November 19

At San Francisco -5.5 Chicago

Battle of Back-Ups!
Colin Kaepernick looks weird
when he runs so fast! PICK: 49ers

Haiku Picks went 7–7 last week. That’s 64–80–3 for the season. We need a breakout week, Football Fates!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.