The "Cool Kids" Throw a Gross "Tech Homecoming" Party for Straight People

Tech Homecoming is happening next month! That’s right, it’s just like homecoming in high school, with football, a dance and a homecoming court: “The 2012 Homecoming court brings together 8 guys and 8 girls as representatives of the New York Tech & Media community. Homecoming court is selected by a panel of over 30 judges based on impact to the community, networks, and general likeability. One guy and one girl will be voted king and queen at the homecoming dance.” They will vote on people! Like who is the “best dressed” and who is the “most eligible”!

Straight people: what is wrong with them? (Also, hey, look at that, at least eight women in tech consented to being called “girls.”) So you want to relive your high school glory days? Great, the rest of us — the sluts, burn-outs, goths and, right, the BROWN PEOPLE AND HOMOS AND OUR GOOD FRIENDS THE FATTIES — will all meet outside and smoke joints and throw water balloons at you. See you there, Heathers.