Football Pick Haikus For Week 8

by JIM BEHRLE October 25, 2012

Thursday, October 25

At Minnesota -6 Tampa Bay

Vikings should crush Bucs.
Flip channels only during
World Series innings. PICK: VIKINGS

Sunday, October 28

New England -7 St. Louis (At London)

New England visits
Regular England. Brady
Defects to Man U. PICK: PATRIOTS

At Tennessee -3.5 Indianapolis

Chris Johnson is alive!
Too bad Tennessee defense
hates playing defense. PICK: TITANS

At Green Bay -15.5 Jacksonville

Brad Pitt says it’s not
A journey. Every journey
ends but Jags lose on. PICK: PACKERS

San Diego -2.5 At Cleveland

I’m taking the Browns.
I’m writing a book: THE YEAR
I LOST EVERYTHING. PICK: BROWNS

At Philadelphia -2.5 Atlanta

No team should ever
go undefeated, it’s just
profoundly selfish. PICK: EAGLES

At Detroit -2 Seattle

If Lions had a
decent coach they’d probably
still be in last place. PICK: LIONS

At NY Jets -2.5 Miami

The Jets have to win.
If they’re irrelevant this
soon shrinks will go broke. PICK: JETS

At Chicago -7.5 Carolina

Trying to beat the
Bears at home is harder than
shaving Ditka’s stache. PICK: BEARS

At Pittsburgh -4.5 Washington

The Steelers are great
at home, terribly waving
their yellow towels. PICK: STEELERS

At Kansas City -1.5 Oakland

The Chiefs will start
Brady Quinn. K.C., don’t cheer
if he gets injured! PICK: CHIEFS

NY Giants -2 At Dallas

Last year Giants lost
twice to the Redskins. Will they
lose two to these bums? PICK: COWBOYS

At Denver -6 New Orleans

Saints visit Mile High!
Their suspended coach can call
plays in from the blimp. PICK: BRONCOS

Monday, October 29

San Francisco -6.5 At Arizona

Cards in a tailspin.
But Niners melt in desert
like scorpion poo. PICK: CARDINALS

Detroit Tigers v. San Francisco Giants

Verlander stunk up
Game One but Obama lost
the first debate, too. PICK: Tigers in 7

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 5–6–2. That’s 46–56–3 for the season. This week, we picked all the home teams. Go, Home Teams!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.