Football Pick Haikus For Week 4
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 27
At Baltimore -12 Cleveland
Browns have a chance if
all the Ravens players get
themselves arrested. PICK: BROWNS
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30
New England -4 At Buffalo
Last time the Pats lost
three games straight Massasoit
was the quarterback. PICK: PATS
At Detroit -5 Minnesota
Lions’ coach’s weird
plan to lose in overtime
last week worked out great. PICK: LIONS
At Atlanta -7 Carolina
Atlanta’s in first!
They also take an early
lead in DUIs. PICK: FALCONS
San Francisco -4 At NY Jets
Jets without Revis
aren’t much to write home about.
Let Tim Tebow ref! PICK: 49ers
San Diego -1 At Kansas City
The Chargers’ bad loss
last week reminds us that their
coach is terrible. PICK: CHARGERS
At Houston -12 Tennessee
Arian Foster
has become a true Vegan.
Titans’ D meat-free! PICK: TEXANS
Seattle -2.5 At St. Louis
After stealing the
game Monday night the Seahawks
might rob a few banks. PICK: SEAHAWKS
At Arizona -5.5 Miami
Not to jinx them but
the Cardinals look like the best
team in the league. PICK: CARDS
At Denver -6.5 Oakland
In the Mile High Air,
Janikowski makes field goals
from the parking lot. PICK: RAIDERS
Cincinnati -2.5 At Jacksonville
Fans might want to bring
that new J.K. Rowling book
to all Jags’ home games. PICK: BENGALS
At Green Bay -7.5 New Orleans
Wouldn’t want to be
a Foot Locker employee
In Green Bay this week. PICK: PACKERS
At Tampa Bay -2.5 Washington
RG3 is great
but the rest of the Redskins
are total horseshit. PICK: Buccaneers
At Philadelphia -1.5 NY Giants
The Giants average
four mystifying losses
during each season. PICK: EAGLES
Monday, October 1
At Dallas -3.5 Chicago
Hope you like defense!
Neither of these offenses
knows how to shoot straight. PICK: BEARS
Last week’s Haiku Picks went 5–11. That is grim. For the season that’s 20–27–1. Rally underpants time!
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.