Trick Yourself Into Thinking You Don't Suck

“If you don’t feel happy, fake it. You wouldn’t constantly burden a friend with your bad mood, so don’t burden yourself. Try holding a pencil horizontally in your mouth. ‘This activates the same muscles that create a smile, and our brain interprets this as happiness,’ [some cognitive psychologist] says.”
 — Does this work? I don’t know and I don’t care. The real mystery to me here is why anyone, knowing what they know about themselves, thinks they deserve to feel happy. They don’t. None of us do.