Here's Another Part Of Your Body Having A Child Will Mess Up

Ladies, you know that baby you so desperately want, the one that you are racing against time and your decaying ovaries to have, because, really, what is the point of being a woman if not to make a child? Sure, we can talk about “fulfillment” and “career” and “potential” as much as you want, but we all know that at the end of the day society is going to judge you on whether or not you’ve squeezed out a tiny version of yourself. And it’s not just society, it’s YOU. If you don’t procreate you are going to spend the rest of your life hating yourself, wallowing in misery and recrimination over your childless existence. This is why you never see a picture of Susan B. Anthony smiling. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, that baby you want? You can go ahead and have it, but it’s gonna cost you a tooth.

Photo by Subbotina Anna, via Shutterstock