Massachusetts Bear Determined To Spend August On The Cape

Did you hear about the bear that was captured in the tony Boston suburb of Brookline yesterday? Apparently, it’s the same one who was captured on June 11 in the tony Cape Cod hamlet of Wellfleet. (One assumes he was drawn out to the Cape by the ridiculous salmon-colored pants that so many grown male humans wear while vacationing out there.) This bear is pretty awesome. He’s 180 pounds. Two weeks ago, they took him into the woods and released him in central Massachusetts, from where he just turned right around and started the 100-mile back East. During yesterday’s police operation, an onlooker shouted, “He’s smarter than the average bear!” Which is great fun to imagine being said in a thick Boston accent.