A Trip To The Penis Museum

“You can see the variety in the collection of silver penises cast from the Icelandic handball team, which won the silver medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. That’s a lotta penises all in one place. And all the players are very different in length, width, shape and all that.”
 — Alex Witze and Jeff Kanipe visit the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Laugavegur, where there are more than 280 penises on display, representing 93 species. (Yes, they took pictures, including one of the handball team’s silver penises.) I wonder whether the collection includes all of what The Week magazine recently declared to be “The 9 Weirdest Animal Penises On Earth.” (Which, that just seems kind of lazy, doesn’t it? I mean, put in the time, do the research, and come up with an even ten.) Also, and I wish this would go away and leave my brain, but it will not: There are three human penises, plaster-cast and photographed for a “patriotic comparisons” exhibit: a German specimen, and English specimen, and an American specimen. And the American one is called “Elmo.”