You Got The Right Stuff: A Survey Of Boy Band Dance Moves

by Jon Blistein and RJ Cubarrubia

The Wanted and One Direction are killing it. This two-pronged British boy band behemoth has hit the shores of the U.S. hard with myriad magazine covers and morning show appearances — 1D even became the first British group ever to see their debut album hit number one in the United States. They’ve sent Tumblrs and young fans into a tizzy, and set the stage for what could possibly be a veritable boy band revival this summer. But as K-pop expert Jeff Benjamin, and others, have pointed out, something’s off with these two bands: they don’t dance in their videos.

What the hell?! As part of a generation that grew up during the boy band heyday of the late-90s, heralded by Olympians like Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC — groups with fierce style and unforgettable dance moves that permeated living rooms and spring breaks everywhere — we find this curious and straight-up tragic. Unable to bear the thought of a world without flying-V formation dance sequences, we surveyed the relatively recent landscape of boy bands to examine the state of choreography in boy bands today. Our goal wasn’t necessarily to crown a champion, but to see — as you jump from New Kids to *NSYNC to today — to who falls and who gets down.

A TRUNCATED HISTORY OF BOY BAND DANCING

But first, a bit of history. While not always omnipresent, dancing has arguably remained a staple of excellent boy bands since Berry Gordy decided to hire dancer and vaudeville performer extraordinaire Cholly Atkins to teach his top Motown acts a few moves. Atkins’ contributions — even if they were simple synchronized steps — gave live performances by The Temptations, Smokey Robinson & The Miracles and The Four Tops an extra bit of oomph and made dance a necessary component of the complete package Motown promised. It set a precedent that carried into the 70s where even boy bands that played instruments like The Osmonds and The Five Jacksons would incorporate dancing into their live sets and TV appearances.

The 80s marked a boy band renaissance of sorts, led by arguably the first modern group, New Edition. Their dancing — perhaps more than killer hooks and tight harmonies — epitomized the e pluribus unum cohesion necessary for boy band success. Dancing allows for a flawless, cool and effortless coalescence of stylistically unique individuals into a unit mightier than any one boy bander alone. When it all comes together, the whole reigns supreme, but is clearly the sum of its each distinct, outstanding parts (see). The opposite: danceless videos, or sometimes worse, half-assed attempts, that are forgettable, awkward, or plain dull. At the very least, magic’s lost.

And now into the Octagon!

THE SCORING SYSTEM

What follows are videos from both One Direction and The Wanted and ten clips from the past 25 years examined and scored on a fairly subjective, somewhat arbitrary, but wholly authoritative-ish ranking system.
• Theme: Costume, setting, context
• Approximate Percentage Dancing: Equals seconds dancing / total seconds of video) x 100
• Execution: Complexity of moves, technique, how it fits with the music; or since we’re not experts: dopeness, does it make you go “ohhhhh shit”
• Band inclusiveness: Everyone knows who’s best in the group, but all members remain important)
• Intangibles: The things so great/bizarre things you can’t explain, but make the video all the better.
• Overall: We put the Pitchfork-esque hammer down and deliver our final verdict.

Obviously this is far from an exhaustive list (though it’s plenty exhaustive in other ways). With the focus on primarily better-known contemporary groups, we wanted to tip our hats to some forebears, but if we included all of them we might never make it out alive. Notable absences include: 90s British heartthrobs Take That and recent MTV Best Boy Band Champion Westlife (though neither danced that much anyway), Shakespeare scholars LFO, R&B; heroes and pioneers Boyz II MEN, “Making The Band”-ees O-Town, the always hilarious 2ge+her, ostensibly lost exurban scenesters NLT, plus many, many others.

So are One Direction and The Wanted harbingers of a bleak Footloose-ian future boy bands are headed for? As we watched these clips we noticed dancing isn’t totally in peril, but we can’t ignore that the recent resurgence suggests choreography may be on its way out. We sure as hell hope not.

ONE DIRECTION
“What Makes You Beautiful” (2011)

Theme: Back to the beach, or back into last spring’s American Eagle promo video.

% Dancing: 1%

Execution: Thirty-five seconds in is arguably the one move 1D is capable of: The Hammer — and Harry Styles throws down his fist first, thunderous, after a Phil Collins drum leads into the massive chorus. Liam and Louis try to follow suit when the chorus returns, but after a disastrous attempt Styles, Supreme, has to school them on basics. Apparently fucking up The Hammer banishes you to an unknown netherworld somewhere below the dudes in LFO who aren’t Rich Cronin (RIP). Kneel before Mjölnir.

Band Cohesion: Everyone gets some time in the spotlight, but with no dance moves the group’s tertiary members gnaw at the strength of their leaders. The outliers are clear: Niall’s relegated to the nebulous purgatory of pathetic slo-mo glamour shots, and in true little-brother-tagging-along fashion, keeps his shirt on while the group frolicks in the waves (“So you don’t get sunburn,” said Mom). Then there’s poor Louis, who throws his arm around Harry like an unwanted hype man grasping for residual swag. Even the band’s female friends score more close-ups than Louis. How dare you let extras outshine you.

Intangibles: Harry Styles’ majestic hair swoop wields the grace of a soaring avian coasting the atmospheric currents far beyond the stratosphere.

Score: 3
The track’s a total hit, but the lack of moves seriously highlights the group’s awkward, “X-Factor” bred disjointedness. This is what happens when one of the dudes you choose cowers at the thought of dancing.

THE WANTED
“Glad You Came” (2011)

Theme: Ibiza bender with the boys with decidedly less ecstasy — and even less dancing.

% Dancing: 0.7%

Execution: Despite the song’s dance-friendly Euroclub vibe, these dudes can’t even be bothered to do more than pump fists, lift cups, and grind up on girls — a weakness befitting the song’s embarrassingly suggestive lyrics and uber-limp chorus. At most Max George manages a single dice roll flick of the wrist equal to about one-eighth of a Harry Styles Hammer.

Band Cohesion: Though not spread evenly, everyone gets to lip-sync and creep on some ladies. As far fostering egalitarianism, it’s a weak attempt, ostensibly founded on the viewers’ inability to distinguish between members in a realm other than their clothes. It’s the minimum needed to unite top dog Max George and bottom feeder/bed-head afficianado Jay McGuiness, but both end up as part of the same blob.

Intangibles: McGuiness going full Kewl Dad BBQ Chic in that Hawaiian shirt.

Score: 0.0
This sucks.

98°
“The Hardest Thing” (1999)

Theme: A Vegas showgirl proves her love to her boxer boyfriend by showing up to fight night and overcoming 98°’s grotesque attempts at dancing.

% Dancing: 5%

Execution: 98° keep barely two moves in their arsenal: a display case hand wave, and a point to imaginary tears with an imaginary handgun. Terrible. Head bobbing, fist clutching, and excessive kneeling down to the cameras to score face-time doesn’t cut it.

Band Cohesion: Even without dancing, each Degree manages to stand out some in the group shots. Nick Lachey, Jeff Timmons, and Nick Lachey’s Turtleneck lead; Drew Lachey tags along with a shred of self-respect left after he doffed that backwards cap; and brochacho Justin Jeffre brings up the rear, looking horrifically awkward and a little too much like Creed drummer Scott Phillips for comfort. Leaving each member to their own devices does keep the ship afloat — till it inevitably collides with the iceberg that is Jeffre’s bleached goatee.

Intangibles: Who wore it better?

Score: 1
98°’s slow jam roots may not be totally conducive to choreography, but if you’re going to pull any moves at all, at least try.

BACKSTREET BOYS
“Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” (1998 U.S. release)

Theme: Backstreet’s tryna get back but their bus broke down (for the second time!) in front of a haunted house! During the night, possessed by El Espirito, each are sentenced to a hellish dream world where they’re doomed to live out eternity as specifically un-specific horror movie stock characters.

% Dancing: 43%

Execution: A good chunk of the moves in the solo shots are plain corny, most garish, Nick Carter’s mummified lurches; but Howie Dorough conjures some charismatic, vampiric rocks and twists, and AJ McLean makes the most of the mini-crew he grooves with in his Phantom of the Opera shots. The ballroom sequence offers spirited choreography, but the movements can look jerky and goofy, like the inevitable “Cha Cha Slide” at a wedding.

Band Cohesion: BSB may have been the most even-keel boy band of the 90s. Howie and Kevin were obvious side guys, but alpha dog contenders AJ, Brian, and Nick don’t seem that far away as none had that super star oomph to push them into Timberlake-levels — or even Chasez-tiers. Brian never added serious pop pedigree to his pretty boy image, and while Nick seemed to assume the top spot sometimes, maybe he — plus The Shaq Conqueror and the rest of that wackadoo family — just got the most exposure. Watching the clip now, it looks like we might’ve all done goof’d and failed to hop on the AJ Express To Superstardom, which gives the chorus its quintessential cock-sure sneer and holds down the fort with assured moves.

Intangibles: Shoutout to Nick Carter’s Hardy Nickerson jersey. Go, Bucs.

Score: 7.27
Solid dancers all around, BSB usually threw something into the mix, even a AAA mid-tempo ballad like “As Long As You Love Me.” They were an impressive group responsible for some monster bangers that still hold up, but without a member with that killer instinct, the BSB aura lacks something special.

BIG TIME RUSH
“Boyfriend” (2011)

Theme: Snoop Dogg is hosting a super sweet 128th and needs the sickest group in civilization to take his unprecedented party to the “next level.” So out of everyone ever in the history of mankind, he gets Big Time Rush, the four chillest bros since the birth of music to headline his bash. The future is TRON-grade CGI (Sponsored by Red Bull).

% Dancing: 32%

Execution: Big Time Rush hails from the hyper-literal school of group dance, the kind taught in kinder-gyms across the country: A heavenward arm swoop to finger point while singing “I see that” or dropping down to the ground at “knock me down.” For flavor they add primitive forearm rolls, rudimentary hand shuffles, and their signature butter churns, all performed with over-exaggerated exertion that’s barely charming in junior high musical theater. Miserable. Hardly funny 15 views later.

Band Cohesion: BTR are so unremarkable they easily blend into each other, even with a pretty clear, but simple hierarchy, like what you’d find on — well, duh — a kid’s sitcom. Save for a few steps, none of these guys dance in their solo shots, just as a group; and as bogus as it is, it keeps your attention and Big Time Rush from falling apart.

Intangibles: Calvin Broadus can apparently travel through computer networks like a hologram or avatar, yet manifest in a physical form instantly without stress or concern. This ability seems to make him ageless, perhaps immortal. Plus, he can journey across the space-time continuum with enough power to effortlessly bring others safely through the event horizon. Snoop Dogg is beyond The Singularity. That 2Pac Coachella shit was only the beginning.

Score: 3.33
The absurd theme alone warrants a look, but BTR lack so much charisma they had to give Snoop two verses and a heavy visual presence to carry the video.

DREAM STREET
“It Happens Every Time” (2000)

Theme: Inception-level mindfucks in a Windows 98-washed world.

% Dancing: 63%

Execution: Though not throwing out the most inspired moves, Dream Street manage to get funky in that suburbanized hip-hop circa Y2K kinda way. With great attention to detail, the group remains solidly in sync during each messy shoulder shimmy, fierce head snap, or loose hip shakes; it’s all balanced with decent quick steps during the brief solo cuts, like Chris Trousdale’s Hulkish spin ‘n STOMP a minute in. Too bad their signature cross-armed jump punches look like something that starts a playground gangfight.

Band Cohesion: But damn do those big group dance sequences give the video a shot of luster. Sure it’s mostly variations on the same jelly-legged pop n glide, but all five nail it with competent coolness. Young Jesse McCartney and Greg Raposo (the tank-topped wonder) are front and center, but those passable dancing chops allow future frosted-tips aficionado Chris, rapscallion Matt Ballinger, and auxiliary bro and back-up muscle Frankie Galasso to shine.

Intangibles: The gross failure to depict innocent puppy love, offering instead creepy shots of tweens trolling for ass on the streets or in a field filled with pigeons and shit.

Score: 6.75491
They may lack the raw steez to take home any sort of crown, but Dream Street’s output is still commendable and keeps the group from crumbling. It can be goofy as hell, but at least there’s heart.

JLS
“She Makes Me Wanna” (2011)

Theme: It’s The Wanted video on an immensely smaller budget, but with at least slightly more dancing.

% Dancing: 33%

Execution: JLS really only dance as a group, and those sequences are chopped up mercilessly — just one or two quick moves per shot before jumping to a different angle and side-step. This fractured style reveals a pretty pathetic attempt to manufacture choreographic continuity; and the cuts move so fast between one another it makes it impossible for anything to resonate. Looks like someone’s covering their asses for not knowing how to link successive steps.

Band Cohesion: Top billing is split between Country Club Vice-Treasurer Aston Merrygold, Marvin Humes, and unfortunately for everyone, guest whisperer Dev. But as unimpressive as those dance sequences are, they allot back-up members Oritsé Williams and JB Gill some crucial facetime while doing something at least slightly productive — even if it is just Free-Willying atop some rocks. Not even swaths of neon clothes can save JLS from their incredible blandness; at least they’re bland together.

Intangibles: What a dick move.

Score: 4.4
The sub-sub par moves give JLS some life, but Mr. Fusion ain’t around to turn their monotonous garbage into plutonium to get the flux capacitor… fluxing.

Next: Six more boy bands and awards!

FIVE
“When The Lights Go Out” (1998)

Theme: Bowling alleys are horrific cesspools overrun by disease: 14-pound balls of fingered plague, fungus-filled clown shoes, unsupervised teenagers, depressing quarter beer nights, and family fun.

% Dancing: 25%

Execution: Five’s idea of dancing is non-stop flexing and staredowns with a few crossover steps into twirls thrown in for good measure. The aggressive and excessively forward posturing to the camera combined with some startlingly rape-y lyrics (“Babe, I swear you will succumb to me”) is beyond head-slappingly tiresome.

Band Cohesion: The modicum of elementary level twists and turns does unite Five and reveal a rudimentary boy-band power structure, but choosing to mean mug instead of throw down means the group’s strength hinges on the creepy, unsteady foundation of mall-grade headshots. Some members, like frontman Abs Breen (who now goes by the unforgivable Abz Love) and sensitive, turtle-necked Marine Corp. Private Sean Conlon manage half-decently with their overexposure, but you’re also left with the meandering of Jason “J” Brown and Richie Neville’s over-committed pleading. Thrusting a bunch of bozos into the shit without proper artillery has never ended well.

Intangibles: Ritchie Neville’s center hair part with Grand Canyon-levels of fivehead surface area and grandeur. (Though he can’t touch the GOAT, Sir Nickolas Gene Carter.)

Score: 4
Five lack dance skill and good taste, but they manage to scrounge up something resembling choreography. It’s barely better than nothing.

MINDLESS BEHAVIOR
“My Girl” (2010)

Theme: “We are cool.”

% Dancing: 65%

Execution: Slick shuffles, tight pop n locks, deep choo-choo train pelvic thrusts, flawless synchronization, and a bonafide dance breakdown: That sweet-tooth synth beat from Boi-1da — the chorus topped off with sublime bleepy bloops like freakin maraschino cherries — demands dope moves and everyone in MB delivers. Official head dancer Ray Ray shines brightest, fronting most of the group sequences and ripping up the dance tunnel with electric charm — those vicious braids whipping around like clackers — but his cohorts follow with talent and poise.

Band Cohesion: Mindless Behavior define explicit roles for its members — instead of relying on an implicit pecking order — to maintain balance. They don’t pretend everyone can belt or that they’re all superb dancers, but with lots of group sequences and plenty of individual screen time, they coalesce into, well, a band. Prodigy: vocals and rhythm guitar; Ray Ray: lead guitar; Princeton: bass; Roc Royal: drums.

Intangibles: What God-forsaken Interscope intern had to deal with the fan text fallout from the video solicitation?

Score: 8.8
“My Girl” is two years old, but little has changed since. With tons of ill moves Mindless Behavior easily stand as one of the most cohesive and enjoyable boy bands these days. Twenty views later and Princeton’s transcendent, I-believe-I-can-fly point to the sky at the line “I hit you with the question maaarrrkk” still sends us into loving hysterics.

*NSYNC
“I Want You Back” (1998 U.S. release)

Theme: JustiN & The *Syncs are stranded at Fort Space Cadet Pinball; their only hopes for survival: the camaraderie of each other (at least until things turn Donner) and the eternal hope that their girlfriend might take (all of?) them back.

% Dancing: 74%

Execution: *NSYNC did not come to fuck around. Big, aggressive moves begin 17 seconds in and they never look back, for better (the simple, yet effective group pulsing) or for worse (Monkeys-in-a-Barrel arm wobbles). The choreography isn’t timeless (unlike these ones, obviously, but the whole group exudes talent: Justin fronts the outfit, but everyone carries their weight — Joey Fatone especially making his presence known with a slightly gawky, but no less brass-balled, jump to the cornerstone of the dance pyramid. Despite 2 many lulz at timez, *NSYNC dance with a boiling over fervor that can’t be ignored. It’s a quality that served them well as their chops improved.

Band Cohesion: “I Want You Back” was *NSYNC’s first video, and instantly the demigod Justin Timberlake establishes himself as the band’s leader. Retrospect tells us duh, but JT’s unstoppable, evergreen presence up front doesn’t mean the others aren’t included. Justin sets an elite standard within the group, and the rest are forced to up their game to meet that high grade, making *NSYNC a truly formidable force.

Intangibles: Well, this just got morbid…

Score: 9.0
The paradigm of 90s U.S. boy bands, *NSYNC fused impressive group choreography with pantheonic pop to form a strong, impressive, and undeniably unique dynamic. Though their structure did somewhat resemble Backstreet Boys’, Timberlake’s Timberlake-ness elevated them to legendary levels.

NEW EDITION
“Candy Girl” (1983)

Theme: Hey girls, come boogie at the malt shop with Ralph, Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike!

% Dancing: 68%

Execution: Nothing awes, but New Edition’s non-stop grooving keep things funky alongside that canonic, flatulent synth groove. The group’s beginner status reveals itself a glass-eyed, open mouthed Ricky Bell here and a gasping-trout shuffle from Ronnie DeVoe there; but for the most part, Ralph Tresvant commodores with elastic ease a group bursting with young talent.

Band Cohesion: For much of the video, Ralph plays point in most of its group shots, but all of New Edition find ways to make themselves known. The epic and definitive rundown of the boys while they flaunt their sweethearts over milkshakes says it all: We bros.

Intangibles: Bobby’s fly few chainz and Cosby sweater combo.

Score: 7.4
New Edition were a crucial step in the evolution of the modern boy band with their primary focus on vocals and dancing. A few flubs aside, the spot-on moves keep this video timeless.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
“You Got It (The Right Stuff” (1988)

Theme: Rollin’ with the homies and the girlfriends.

% Dancing: 50%

Execution: Donnie Wahlberg’s initial broke-ass shuffle promises cornball choreography, and indeed the New Kids deliver heaps of unimpressive footwork that bottoms out with the hyuck-hyuck hoedown sideways kicks, recycled an idiotic three times. Despite the thick layer of cheese, New Kids show a modicum of chops, particularly excelling at stop-on-a-dime freezes that add a smidge of spice. But these moves are proto-everything.

Band Cohesion: This video is, basically, a solo vehicle for Jordan Knight, with everyone else more or less offering generic back up moves and moral support. It’s like the “Hangin’ Tough” video, but instead of Jordan, Donnie Wahlberg hogs the spotlight and hoards nearly all the vocals. Placing one member above the rest of the crew — even if that top dog does change — makes unification nearly impossible.

Intangibles: Playing hide-and-seek in a cemetery with your girlfriend is the type of shit that scores you a lifetime haunting.

Score: 2.75
We don’t want to disrespect pioneers, but this just hasn’t aged well. Some moves still look slick but most are anachronistic and downright silly.

SHINee
“Lucifer” (2010)

Theme: A bitter, vulnerable love song with an English-translated chorus of “Your spell is The Lucifer,” the theme is unclear other than let’s throw together crazy glam rock/goth punk/Euroclub fashion, cutting edge haircuts, some expensive cars, and fucking awesome choreography.

% Dancing: 75%

Execution: SHINee’s embrace of K-Pop maximalism extends beyond their wall of synth beats to the dancefloor with a style that’s part hip-hop robotics, graced with heaps of cut rug fluidity that drips confidence. In the solo swag swag swag shots all five members stake sizeable claims, throwing down some one-off feats of fancy footwork and mugging so cool it may as well be dancing. Head dancer and red-pants enthusiast Taemin rightly takes lead when the group convenes, but Onew, Key, Jong Hyu, and Minhu are all so talented you can’t even call them back-up. Check out their Tutting or hand chops (complete with kitana sound effects!) or absolutely killer assemblage into a line that sprouts arms like Vishnu. Amidst quick scenery cuts, the dancing never fractures (like the inversion of their ducks-fly-together formation) cause these guys can absolutely do the same routine twice sans a single loose strand of hair. Does it make you say, “Ohhh shitt”? Yeah.

Band Cohesion: Everyone in SHINee has a defined role creating an ostensible hierarchy of sorts: Onew (the guy doing the anguished lunges in the room of mirrors) is purported to be the group’s leader, but this video makes it seem that any member could front a boy band or take on a solo career. Combined with a monster track, the excellent dancing creates a wholly unified boy band, integrating five individuals, each bursting with charisma, to spawn something even more powerful and astounding. When their choreography hits its enrapturing apex, the group is individually idiosyncratic yet synced like a Swiss watch.

Intangibles: See: 0:00–3:58

Score: 10.0
This good.

Well, there you have it: Twelve boy bands enter, all are over-analyzed. Thankfully, there seems to be some evidence of current choreographically, and it’s pretty good. We’re not holding our breath for 1D- or Wanted-led dance dance revolution — that’s what SHINee is for, and hopefully a group or two in the next crop of boy bands too.

And since we’re as irrelevant as the Grammy’s, how about some awards?

Most Awkward Boy Bander: Justin Jeffre, 98°
Worst Dance Move:The New Kids Ho-Down
Best Dance Move: SHINee’s Vishnu (presented here in its rawest form for maximum “ohhh shit”’s)
Best Overall Performance: SHINee, “Lucifer”
Critics’ Choice: Mindless Behavior, “My Girl”

Related: Who Is The Greatest Diva Of The Last 25 Years? We Offer Scientific Proof! and The Definitive List Of White Music Stolen By Black People

Jon Blistein and RJ Cubarrubia spend their days typing stuff for RollingStone.com and have also keyboarded for places like Billboard, The L Magazine, Impose and Nerve.com.