Bot Catalog

by Sunny Biswas

We’re both busy and time is important so here is a breakdown. You might very well be a person who has forgotten what you are supposed to be doing. Living with THE FEAR that your bones could shatter like glass at any moment. You woke up on a Saturday and came to the sudden realization that you were all alone. Warming up to the concept of Time. We live in our own Time cages. Where does all the time go? Your life used to be different. It had a different texture, a different shape. Now it’s something else. Looking back, I realize that it wasn’t the tree houses that made me happy.

They call this growing up, or something similar to it.

Late that night, an old friend calls in. You don’t really remember this person, but the sea was not alive, then. The Filipino (at least I think they are Filipino, and no I will not apologize for this) spins out the slow and dreamy hula harmonies. Okay, sometimes being tolerant can really backfire. So off I go, I went ahead and wrote it. When I finished it, I needed a test. He was the perfect subject (he agreed to this).

I’m just trying to tell a story.

Learn From My Agony! Picture things that never even happened, like the time you snuck some frosting onto your lover’s nose and they had no idea it was there so they just stood around looking helpless and boy that thing that never happened was so cute, wasn’t it? USE MIND CONTROL ON YOURSELF AND OTHERS. WHAT’S BETTER THAN THAT? HYPNOTIZE THOSE AROUND. Ask if you can transplant my eyebrows to your face, and tell me once again that you are not drunk. Dread probability.

I try to keep unfair judgements to a minimum, although none of my judgements are unfair. “Certain” people seem to be running comfortably all the time and they run with their friends and all of them seem very comfortable running. Baking isn’t much fun either, when the person you’re baking for will take this thing you’ve spent countless minutes, hours creating, this thing you wanted to perfect, this thing you loved; they will take it and destroy it in seconds and have no idea how much time, how much of yourself you had to sacrifice just for it to exist. In fact is there anything more distressing than that little pat on the back that says, Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion?

I guess I’ve had a passion for the past.

The Internet as a source of culture and expression has seemingly reached equilibrium in a state in which a select few create, while everyone else curates. This belief has arisen from long observation of the facts of life. But this shit is getting complicated. FIRE SKY BAR CHUCKLE SKY BUNNY BAR SKY CHARMER SKY DIAMOND DOLL SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY, which is how I ended up in Korea, but that’s another story.

There are plenty of skinny guys nailing the golf ball further than you. It is likely that I am overstating things. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but nobody promised this would be easy. THERE IS NO. SUCH THING AS EASY. Again, that post-post-feminism rearing its ugly head.

YOU are such a catch that they would be foolish to pass you up. You finger bang a girl on your bed one day and it’s so boring she tells you about being forced to totally request an ‘N Sync song so she could get on TV. You deserve to look and feel beautiful, because you are! I used these words. You played the game like everyone asked you to and still managed get to this place of complete and utter loneliness and alienation. Your life is meant to be filled with joy and purpose! I’ve already gone on longer than I intended. Can you tell I’m a little passionate? You were asleep and now you’re awake but it’s too late. Are you rightly afraid of the consequences and the pains of a medical intervention? Do you want to look young and fresh? What cat gif, you can almost hear them saying, defines me as a person? What is modern?

Some of us even like happy endings, whether they happen in real life or not. The end is always in doubt until the finale. This novel is a sequel.

I’ve always had a thing with last words: Funny Face Carrot Salad.

PS: Your magazine is really heteronormative.

Sunny Biswas lives in Austin. He writes here. Photo by readephotography.