Local Genius Invents "100% Frozen Alcohol" Drinks for Malls!

“I’ve also developed Frozen I.C.E.Bergs, our patent pending method of producing 100% Frozen Alcohol.”
 — HOW IS IT POSSIBLE NO ONE HAS GIVEN THIS GENIUS HERO A SINGLE DIME ON KICKSTARTER YET? He wants to give people at Macy’s 200-proof cocktails!