"If a pineapple were funnier, I would have written a pineapple in the first place"

“This was done by somebody who was barely literate.”
 — Daniel Pinkwater, genius towering super-hero of literature, is profoundly pissed at the mangling of his work that then caused the uproar over the absurd and bizarre NYS reading exam test question about the pineapple in the race with the hare.